Coward
by whirlwinds of watercolours
Summary: "Run away, then," she snarls, blue eyes flashing fiery fire and crackling anger. "I dare you to. Run away, and never come back."


**Summary: "Run away, then," she snarls, blue eyes flashing fiery fire and crackling anger. "I dare you to. Run away, and never come back."**

**Rating: T because _angst_**

**Word Count: 1039**

**Written For: Hunger Games Competition, Round 3; Colours Competition: Green (II); Divination Competition: Rune Casting; Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes: Instant Darkness Powder; Not for the Faint of Heart Competition: Operation Grim Reaper; Philosopher's Stone Competition: Through the Trapdoor; Gemstone Competition: Emerald; Greenhouses Competition: Almond; 'As Strong as We are United' Competition**

**A/N: Many thanks to my beta _Emma Quinn_!**

* * *

_Coward._

That's the unspoken word that hangs in the tension of the still air as you walk along the corridors of Hogwarts, head held high and paying no attention whatsoever to the whispered conversations of the other students. That's the unspoken word which shines in their eyes in the second their glances flick towards your direction, filled with hatred and resentment. That's the unspoken word they mouth towards each other whenever the topic of _Draco Malfoy_ and the _Battle of Hogwarts _comes up far too often in the dinners of the Great Hall.

You used to think you were so much better than them, didn't you? After all, weren't you rich, clever, and pureblood while they were just the stupid, dirty scums which stained the floor of the earth?

You used to think bravery was pointless; after all, wasn't it by far the kindest word for stupidity? But they sport the scars of the war with pride, charred skin with deep scars and all. And what about you? Your pale face is unblemished, not even a ruffle in that perfect blonde hair - what do you have to show the world? What do you have to show that in the end, you were on the side of the angels even though you never were and never will be one?

Nothing.

You have nothing to show since you never even fought for them in the first place.

Because darling, they're so, so much better than you right from the beginning.

You just never knew until now.

* * *

_Coward._

That's what your mother screams at you as she kneels on the floor, begging in vain for you to help your father out of prison. That's what your father spits at you whenever you're forced into Azkaban to see him. That's what they call you whenever they're meeting each other and think you can't hear them.

You used to take them for granted, but now Mummy's upset and Daddy's locked away, what are you going to do for them?

Nothing.

Because, honey, you're too spoiled and pampered and scared to stand up for yourself and lend a hand.

* * *

_Coward._

That's what Astoria grumbles to herself every night in the darkened bedroom when she thinks you're asleep, regretting her choice at choosing you as a husband.

Finally, you can't take it anymore.

With a huff, you throw off the covers, silk sheets on carpeted floor and you yell at her, all your problems and frustrations spilling out with a small movement of your mouth.

But she doesn't listen, doesn't listen to anything you say because she's Astoria Greengrass and she hates you with every fibre of her being.

"Run away, then," she snarls, blue eyes flashing fiery fire and crackling anger. "I dare you to. Run away, and never come back."

And that's exactly what you do. You pick up a case and stuff it with a few clothes and other items of sentimental value, heave it over your shoulder and walk out of Malfoy Manor with your head held high because you're Draco Malfoy and Draco Malfoy would do that in a situation like this.

But at the end of the day, you slink back in like a dog with its tail between its legs and don't look at Astoria as your face burns red with shame.

Because, sugar, you're no match for the big, bad world outside.

* * *

_Coward._

That's what the little nagging voice at the back of your head reprimands when you see them nineteen years down the road.

It's the first of September and you're going to King's Cross again – no, not back to Hogwarts with all the other horrible children, but to send Scorpius off to the very school you detest.

Within a blink of an eye, he's already so grown up and the spitting image of what you were at the age of eleven. Slicked blond hair, bright grey eyes, and the haughty arrogance expected of a Malfoy. Wasn't he a baby, sleeping in his cot just yesterday? How in the world did he grow up so fast?

"Good luck, Scorpius," you whisper in his ear before he boards the red engine to take him to the school which was full of bad memories and stinging scars for you. "You'll need it."

Most unfortunately, you turn and catch sight of Harry Potter's family and you just freeze, not knowing how to react appropriately. From the look on his face, it seems he has forgiven you even after the rivalry between you two, but what are you supposed to do to mean 'I forgive you too' and 'I'm really sorry for everything' because that seems like the best response even if you don't really mean it?

Instead, you just give him a curt nod.

No smile, no apology, no anything.

He looks briefly upset, but is soon distracted by his wife who shoots you a chilling glare. You want to say something, anything, the words are at the tip of your tongue but your throat's too constricted and your mouth too dry.

So you just keep your face impassive and wave to an excited Scorpius as he peers out from the train window. You're too scared to even throw a mere look in their direction.

Because, sweetie, you've never said a 'sorry' in your entire life and you still don't want to.

* * *

_Coward._

That's what you call yourself when you stand in the locked bathroom, dagger in hand.

You take a moment to appreciate the irony of the entire situation – you almost died in the bathroom once but were saved because of a deal your mum made. You're about to die in the bathroom now but no one's around to save you this time.

At any rate, you don't even want to be saved.

You scribble a quick note and paste it on the mirror, because that's what people do, don't they? Leave a note…

You close your eyes and take a deep breath.

_Calm down, it's going to be alright… Just a nick of pain…_

The dagger flashes once, twice, thrice in the bathroom light, and you're glad when it's finally, finally, over.

Because, darling, deep down that's exactly what you are, after all this time.

A coward.


End file.
